3.21.2009

State of the Union

I thought about posting these photos with nice captions like, "a pleasant, relaxing day in the neighborhood...a happy Finn and Maya..." but that wouldn't be exactly realistic. True, I did find about an hour of peace with Finn this afternoon on the front porch, watching cars drive by, snuggling Maya (kissing on those cheeks). I let Finn throw rocks all over the walkway, there was a nice breeze. But then again, it ended in Finn slipping on the rocks, crying, and then poking Maya in the eye with dirty fingers. Nice.
(Poor Finn, he really is trying...)
I am sitting here typing, listening to a howling Finn in the bedroom. Wes is trying desperately to get him to go to sleep. I managed to keep him tantrum-free for most of the evening. A dinner of hot dogs and mandarin oranges followed by a nice long bath with plenty of splashing seemed to do the trick. I have been determined to get Finn on a schedule, sure that a little structure will help him feel secure in this new situation. It all went up in flames when it was time to actually get in the bed and sleep. He kept trying to headbutt Maya as I sat next to him in bed, nursing her. So we'll start over again tomorrow. Wes bought Twilight today (Wes, I love you more than Edward Cullen), and hopefully we'll be able to enjoy it tonight, if we ever get Mr. Finn off to dreamland.

Maya is still completely content, which seems to be our one saving grace! Any moms with toddler tantrum advice, this is your cue to comment. A pleasant evening to all!

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Domestically Sassy! said...

I wish I had some advice to give because I would use it for my 3yo. He's very funny but...he had a temper!!

spenceandcass said...

I know you don't know me, but you designed a banner for me a while back and I have been reading your blog ever since. Here is my advice:

I was really worried about my first child adjusting to my second. At first it was pretty hard..... temper tantrums.... reverting back to baby behavior.... etc. But I really tried hard to get her involved by telling her "This is YOUR very own baby sister! You can help feed her and change her clothes and give her her pacifier." I would always praise her for being a good big sister. After a while it started working. I think they just need to know that they are still needed and appreciated.
Hope that helps.

Jessica said...

Sorry no advice...just wanted to say I already adore Maya and we haven't even met yet! I can't wait- she's absolutely perfect. I can't remember Luthien being that tiny and it has only been 8 months! Love you guys!

Ali said...

We watched Twilight last night too! OF course not without being interrupted several times by a screaming Gavin. OH Well. It was still good.

Advice: hmmm … Keep working on a schedule with Finn, that will definitely help. Anytime during the day that you can carve out for "Mommy and Finn time only" will help too. He needs to know that Maya has not taken you away from him completely. I got Luke a baby doll, so that we could care for our babies together. It made it more like a game to him and something we could do together. And like the reader above, I involved him in as much as I could with caring for Gavin. These next 3 months are probably going to be the hardest, at least that is what I found. Not just for Luke to adjust, but for me to adjust to a new schedule, demands, balancing time for everyone, etc. You're a great mom, I'm hear if you need me.

~evelyse said...

I know how you feel. My son was JUST turning 2 when Elijah came. He did well, but he did start with the tantrums and little things to get attention. This will go on for a little while and is natural. It seems that you can never get in a routine again, but you will. Of course, Finn will need his time with mommy and daddy, too. They still want to feel like they are just as important as the new addition! Just know, this too, shall pass...

stephanie said...

i don't have any advice, but i will say that it gets easier. they are both so cute.

Dandee said...

Oh, Lyndsay...hang in there. Finn will figure this all out in time. I think that is probably the only advice I can share that hasn't already been mentioned. Time. Just give Finn time. Time to figure out his new role in your growing family, time to do things HE loves, and a few minutes a day one on one with you and Wes. That has always made the biggest improvement in behavior AND attitude when we have brought in a new addition.
Good Luck!

Lee said...

Toddler are crazy and babies are sweet. It's all a very healthy balance. :) You will feel crazy, but when Finn finally falls asleep "on schedule" it will be bitter sweet. You will probably want that crazy boy to wake up and drive you crazy all over again. Best advice I can give and I don't know if it is any good.

Em said...

Tantrums are SO normal. So is the headbutting. Give him 3 weeks. Don't worry too much about "fixing" it. It takes a bit for a small person to adjust to a big change.

Kristin said...

I have to agree with everyone above --- once you find a schedule that works for the new family of 4 things will seem easier, even with the typical 2 year old behavior.

Carving out one on one time is important... especially for a first child who was used to having that attention before. For the first several months after my second was born, we had signed my oldest (2 years 3 months at the time) up for an evening playgroup and swimming lessons with Daddy, so she would have something special to look forward to. These were things I had done with her before the baby and we didn't want her to think that her new baby brother meant everything had to stop.

Shorty said...

It sounds like you are on the right track with a routine & structure. Personally, I've always found structure to be comforting...knowing what to expect and when to expect it.

Robin said...

Your baby is darling and Finn will adjust eventually. Obviously there are no magic tricks and every kid responds al ittle differently to different tactics. I agree that letting Finn be a helper is great for him. Ask him to bring you diapers and whatever else he can do and praise him on what a great helper and big brother he is. My kids loved when the baby would smile in their direction I would always say, look she smiling at you, she loves you so much. Little things help, but time is probably the main thing that makes things more bearable. Good luck.

Lexi said...

It was good to read all of these comments, because I will soon be in the same position as you! I am still wondering what Peyton will think of his brand new baby sister when she gets here in June. I remember it taking about 3 months to get 'normalized' with baby Peyton so I am sure it will take a little bit of time for two to settle down and get used to each other. Maybe by the time my little Chloe arrives, you'll have some good tips to give me! Good luck these next few weeks! :-)

chickadee@afamiliarpath said...

sweet pictures. i've had some problems with my 4 year old since the baby has been born. mostly disobedience.

MIMOM2 said...

Great advice. He will come around but it going to be tough since he will be moving to LA and a lot less time with Daddy as well :) Good LUCK!!!