Joy in the Journey

Some days I feel really sick. I have issues with food, and I can't eat a lot of the things I once loved and craved. It's worse now that I am pregnant. And not being able to have a treat can take its toll. But not knowing if the dinner you are eating is going to lay you out for two days is down right nerve racking. Some days, when I am feeling especially bad, I feel pretty downtrodden. I have little pity parties from time to time. I'm not super proud of it, but even after over three years of dealing with this, some days are just harder than others.

I've felt pretty crummy the past few days. So tonight I made myself a typical "healing" dinner (chicken, carrots, and rice—with a little BBQ sauce because I am pregnant and really wanted it). As I was eating, I decided to grab an old issue of the Ensign to read (the official magazine for the LDS Church). It contained articles from the November 2008 General Conference. I opened right up to the article, "Finding Joy in the Journey." I admit I cried through most of the article. If you haven't read it, whether you are LDS, or not, whether you are religious, or not, I suggest you give this one a go. There are universal truths to be found. (To read, watch, or listen to the article/talk, click HERE.)

One thing I took from the article is that even though I can't eat many delicious things without becoming really ill, I do have many other delicious things in my life that I can feast on.

I can revel in the gorgeous place that I live. I can treat myself with the sweet love of my husband and children. I can delight in the talents I've been given and enjoy. I can indulge in my great friendships. I can feast on the Word. And I am very grateful for that!

(After I was done with dinner, Maya ran up with a mini pinwheel. "Here you go, Mommy! You can blow the pinwheel!" Then the train went past our house. "Look! It's the TRRRRAIN!!" The sheer joy of it...)

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Christy said...

Awww you made me tear up! I hope your dinner didn't make you sick. It sounded delicious and now I'm HUNGRY! xoxo

Kristie (Holland) Young said...
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Kristie (Holland) Young said...

I just posted a big comment then tried to fix the typo and lost it all:) I can relate to all you said and unfortunately my ten month old is no longer happy with his string cheese and I can not elaborate. I get it all and I hope we can both continue to cherish the opportunity to feast on the word even if at times we want to feast on something else. :)

brookeisacrazylady said...

hang in there girl you are a rockstar. and i will go listen to the talk, always could you more joy in the journey

and i had a friend who wrote the funniest post on pity parties i'll look for it but it was hilarious and awesome and i throw the best ones of all. and your sickness sucks hard so you are tough to tackle it willingly or unwillingly!

Anonymous said...

Hi there. I came across your blog doing some research for the lovely (MAJOR sarcasm) SIBO. I was diagnosed at the end of April with Celiac Disease (lucky me) and am still feeling rather icky after being on a super-strict gluten free diet (meaning I do not eat out anymore or eat a lot of the "gluten free" labeled products due to possible cross contamination issues). FUN. Ugh. I am looking up other issues that could be going on with me because I just still feel like crap and SIBO came up. I remember reading about this issue a few months ago before the Celiac diagnosis but my GI doc doesn't perform the test and only knows of one place in Michigan who does. I am about ready to make the appointment to go have it done since things are still not so great. I guess SIBO and Celiac are connected- lucky me again. Anyway,the reason I am writing is to just say thank you because reading your story has helped me feel a little but less alone in this fight. The Celiac alone has been hell- I can unfortunately completely sympathize with you about the food/eating upheaval that I have to deal with for life. No more soft pretzels at the movies (my FAVE), no cookies/cakes/bagels/most everything else brought to work by my fellow coworkers, no eating out because most everything has some form at gluten in it or has the possibility to make me sick by cross contamination. And did I mention that I HATE to cook?? I have no choice but to learn to love it now or else I will starve! Luckily my husband is eating gluten free with me so I have that as a huge support. Family has been great but still want to make stuff that they claim is gluten free- I am tired of explaining cross contamination through utensils/pots etc. Even a crumb can make me sick. Boooo. And now learning of SIBO fills me with more fear and dread because I am a major chocolate lover... I guess it all comes down to my health though, right? If eating anything that could make me sick is what I need to do to stay healthy, then it must be done. I did not appreciate my old ability to eat whatever I wanted in my twenties! My point in all this is to share some of my story and to encourage you to keep at it even though you still feel sick at times. Imagine how much worse it would be otherwise. You are not alone either. Although these health issues may make us feel extremely alienated and cut off from "normal life," we are definitely not the only people going through it. (Although I would not wish any of this on anyone) Keep your head up, keep fighting, and find peace in the beauty around you- like it seems you already do this. And keep writing because you are reaching more people than you know. And never hold back!! -Heather