Little Stinker

Really, that's putting it lightly. Do you want to know the whole, messy truth? 90% of the time motherhood is really awesome. And the other 10% is crappy. And I mean that in the most literal sense of the word. It all started last Friday when Maya projectile vomited all over the backseat as we were leaving the mall. It resulted in me "hosing her down" naked in the parking lot near the dumpsters, by dumping one of my emergency gallons of water that I keep in the car all over her messy little body...while Finn screamed, "MAYA PUKED ALL OVER! IT'S SO GROSS!"...and a maintenance truck honked incessantly for me to get out of the way of the dumpsters. I make this pretty annoying noise when I feel exasperated. But it makes me feel better. I made that noise, and got back in the car and drove home.

Then on Saturday Maya thought it would be fun to poop in the bathtub and pretend it was a little boat.
(blink, blink...)

And that brings me to today. You know those mommy blogs with horror stories of what kids do alone in their cribs when left to their own devices? And you think, "That will never happen to me?" IT HAPPENS. "You know what" happens. And this blog has just turned into one of those mommy blogs, I am sorry to say. Today I walked in to Maya's room after her afternoon nap, to find her cooing, naked from the waist down, smearing poo all over every surface she could find. And ingesting it. And throwing it out onto the floor for me to step on. Which left me really angry that I wore white today. It was a good thing Wes was home. He helped me literally hose her off, this time in the front yard with the actual hose. Then there was a massive Clorox clean up, which left Wes really angry that he wore navy blue today. I made that same exasperated noise, to see if it would help. It did for about 30 seconds, and then I felt frustrated again.

Then I decided it was probably an unappetizing idea to make refried bean chalupas for dinner tonight, as planned. Pretty much everything sounds unappetizing, even at 6:22pm and way past dinner making time.

It's a good thing we love Maya so much. I told her that if she was a puppy, today would have been the day we put her up for adoption.

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christina said...

I'd say 10% awesome, 90% crappy. But I'm a pessimist. :)

Sorry about all the poo.

Isn't it funny that you posted that link to the Mormon Message about motherhood just yesterday?!

Is it too soon to laugh about it?


Erin Deegan said...

good thing she's so darn cute! it's pretty hard to stay angry very long!

dandee said...

ugh. that's crappy.

(i couldn't resist.)


Mariah said...

My sister used you and this post to prove to her husband that my son's not the only one. Thanks!

I threw out a lot of stuff after the most recent episode. That helped.

Hope it doesn't happen again! We started taping our sons nappy shut...

Senja said...

oh dear! At least now you have a really good story to tell her future husband when you want to tease her ;)
Hope that today is better! :)

Nicole said...

I think all moms have been down this road. My youngest son has a very sensitive stomache and is always throwing up in the van. Luckily though we have not had the diaper problem, and my first son is already potty trained.

I am not naive enough to think it won't happen with the other two, but I'm crossing my fingers.

Get Campie! said...

Oh my goodness.... I can't even think of the words that describe how frustrating that would be. It reminds me of the time I was in college helping out at my cousins preschool. One of the little boys decided he would poo on the floor and slide all in it all over the floor. What stinks is was my day for bathroom duty!! Yuck!!

Crystal Farish said...

Loveeeeeee these pictures. They are so sweet. Consider yourself warned when I say that this will happen again. Something about poop -- some kids love it. I have one word for you friend and that is "duct tape." Tape that diaper before she goes to sleep, it's the only thing that will stop her. Trust me, I know.

Sarah Bradford-Burton said...

It must've been poo week.

Darcy did that once and smeared it all over the crib. She didn't eat it though.

The dog did.

thirtynothing said...

Well, it could be worse. At least Maya's "boat" was formed enough to be a boat. That was gross, sorry. DOO keep us posted with any new Maya stories! ahahaha

~Whimsyluv said...

that's so funny because the exact same thing happened to me about a month ago! poop EVERYWHERE, all over the crib. in her ear, mouth...ughhh. at that moment, i realized just how much i loved my children! they know how to keep life exciting that's for sure :) your kids are gorgeous and getting so big!!!